At a party, you find yourself in a moral dilemma, with famous philosophers offering different perspectives. John Stuart Mill advocates for maximizing happiness, while Aristotle emphasizes virtues like generosity. Thomas Hobbes, however, argues that humans are inherently selfish, suggesting that we act primarily in our own self-interest, a concept known as psychological egoism.

While extreme psychological egoism is not widely accepted, many philosophers agree that humans have a selfish streak. Immanuel Kant suggested that even seemingly altruistic acts might be driven by self-love, such as donating to charity for personal gain. Jean-Jacques Rousseau distinguished between "amour de soi," a natural form of self-preservation, and "amour propre," a harmful desire for social status.

Aristotle and others argue that true self-love involves overcoming selfishness by seeking the good of others. Kant believed moral duty helps us rise above self-interest, while Rousseau and Adam Smith pointed to emotions like pity and sympathy as motivations for considering others.

Iris Murdoch proposed that love, specifically the ability to see others as they truly are, is key to overcoming selfishness. She illustrated this with a story of a mother-in-law who learns to view her daughter-in-law in a positive light rather than through jealousy. Murdoch argued that love involves recognizing that something other than oneself is real, a realization that can be achieved by cultivating attention through activities like engaging with art or observing nature. This practice helps us see the world beyond our own selfish perspectives.